The reason I began coaching was, the more people I met in my travels and daily encounters, I continued to hear an unspoken request in many of the conversations.
And that was…
I don’t want to take the time to be like you!”
Or
I don’t want to learn what you have gone through so I can do it too!”
And
I just want the tools and skills to get where I need to go and accomplish my immediate goals.”
Now, not all people actually spoke these exact words. However, the type of requests they made on me and the disregard of my time demonstrated these words to be true.
Their actions, or lack thereof to commit to any substantial transformations in their life began to ring so clear and true in my heart. Very often to my dismay and disheartenment, because I saw so much potential in them.
And after years of regathering my shattered heart up off the floor, I sincerely felt the need to respond differently. So after months of soul-searching and communion with God, I believe I found an answer that worked for me.
To preserve my sanity and to more closely walk in my own purpose I had to make a distinction in what I was doing and for whom.
In the spirit of creating a clearer understanding, among those I mentor and those who desire my coaching, I’m separating the personal protege’ from the professional partnership.
I learned and have always believed that through my efforts of mentoring, that personal development is supposed to help people grow and be their best. So, I was like… how the hell did this happen? How did I get here?
Over my many years leading, working with, and helping people when did things change? At what stage in life did people no longer want to learn how to live life, but wanted to settle for only learning those things that they could use to get things out of life.
I find people now only what to know how to get from point “A” to point “B.” How to fix this problem or that? Can you help me get more of this or accomplish more of that?
Thus, the emergence of a worldwide phenomenon known as the rebirthing era of “coaching.”
And without throwing current coaching models under the bus. I recognize none of them are necessarily bad things; yet, they are very subjective and differ from person to person.
Unfortunately, many of them have their intent focused on gaining things, achieving some goal, and promoting some form of success, or fixing one specific thing or another.
- But, what happens to the life of a person when these tangibles are not projected into reality?
- Or the person does not believe they can achieve each or any of them?
- How are deep-rooted negatively mindset-based actions and beliefs critically challenged and changed?
I believe that’s where mentoring differs from coaching.
Conversely, I’ve come to adapt my thinking on both subjects to also embrace and couple mentorship with transformational coaching. Forming a new reality of neurological and consciously based philosophies to transform lives while addressing areas of life.
Helping people develop the skills necessary to persevere and navigate obstacles built up in the mind often affecting their everyday actions.
During this two-part series I will cover the differences in: “The Mentor Protege’ Relationship vs. The Coach Client Partnership.”
Here in part one, I will cover several factors of the “Mentor Protege’ Relationship” and discuss each one briefly. More detail is included in the mentorship course.
And in part two, I’ll cover the distinctions of the “Coach Client Partnership,” which more detail is included in the transformation course.
So, let’s begin with Mentor Protege’ Relationship factor:
- As a protege’ you cannot grow beyond who and what you’re unwilling to submit.
- The protege’ seeks the mentor, the mentor doesn’t select the protege.
- The protege’ determine the depth of the relationship.
- The passion of the protege’ determines the quality of the relationship.
- A true protege’ takes time to learn what your mentor is teaching.
- A mentor does not give time to someone who doesn’t respect it.
- Being teachable and correctable makes your relationship with your mentor stress free.
These are not etched in stone, but are observations and testimonials based upon years of mentoring and coaching people. And in sharing them my hope is that your will be able to distinguish which type of relationship you seek to develop with me and the journey you are committing to undertake.
So for now, marinate on this and I’ll see you in part two.
Copyright ©2020 B.A. Ingram. All Rights Reserved. All quotes are the Authors and are not to be used without permission.
